Reasons...

I know I said that chapter 36 was on its way, and that might have felt as if I was going to update on Sunday (06). Well, chapter 36 is still on its way, and I have no idea of when I’m going to finish and post it. Most of you probably don’t care about reasons (to tell the truth, I don’t even know if this post will be read by anyone other than myself), but I do feel the need to justify my lapse and lateness. The thing is, I’ve been having ideas for years now, and those are not the writing kind, but rather the sewing kind. Those have been dorment on me for a while, but it all changed when I found an incredible blog, Bridges on the Body, where the blogger recreates classic corsets (and I have to say, they are just wonderful!). So, this brought back my own ideas of corset making. And, as anyone who read Forgotten Paradise had noticed, I have a great love/interest/addiction for corsets (probably not as great as Cait’s, for I only own one, self-made, that could be better). Back to the point, I’m having a big case of ‘I need to make a corset’ at the moment, and already have (almost) all I need to get one together (what I’m lacking here is steel boning, or simply spiral boning and busk, but those are really hard to get in my city and ordering from the internet would take too long of a time, and I’m quite eager here).
Anyway, what I really had to say is: as soon as my corset-making fever passes, I’ll be able to concentrate on the story and not get sidetracked like this again. Well, at least not until I have another fever like this.
P.S.: wish me luck, the only boning I can find in this corset-goddess-forsaken city is that plastic cheap thing that doesn’t really hold a thing (that’s why my first attempt could be better).

...so long...

Well, it's not like I've abandoned the blog or anything like that. But I recognize I've been neglecting it for a while. It wasn't on purpose though. It just happens that sometimes I'm not in the mood to write (and that's so not good for someone that wants to write a story right?). Sometimes I catch myself wondering if there's anyone out there that reads this blog at all. I know that someone reviewed a few posts ago, but that was just once in this blog's lifetime. Okay, I think I'm getting out of track now.
So, back to track (though I assure you there wasn't one when I begun writing this post), I should post more often, not only with anything about my stories, but also with a few things about my life. I know how much I tried to make this blog impersonal, but there's so much coldness in doing that and I know I wouldn't follow a cold blogger (at least not in that aspect). And, just to show that I'm trying, I created a profile on Twitter. I'm not sure yet if I'll use it as often as I used to use Orkut (which is pretty much abandoned), but I know I won’t use it for things related to my stories. I know there comes a separation in my stories and my personal life, but there’s a reason for that and it is that I do have a few friends following me there and I’ve never talked to anyone about my stories or my poems. So think how much of a shock it would be if all of a sudden they find out I write (or at least attempt to) and that not only I already finished a story but I’m on the middle of the writing process of another one. For some reason I don’t like the idea of mixing those parts of my life right now.
Well, just because they can’t know about my stories, it doesn’t mean you can’t know about me. So, I’ll put the link to my Twitter profile here, and feel free to check it anytime you want.

Hum... not really...

Sorry, I have a feeling the update of Twisted Jealousy Game will be a little late for chapter 13 (I still have lots of things to fix in that chapter and don't want to give you guys something that won't be as good as I first thought it to be). I've been having quite a few troubles at writing, it seems like my head and muse are not as much in full cooperation as they were in Forgotten Paradise (even though they've had some struggles along that way as well. I think I need a new muse, does anyone have a spare one or know where I can find an unemployed one?). I'm trying to get some writing done, but things just keep on getting foggy and I have to try to keep on track with what I had been planning. Though planning is not exactly what I do, and since I've been distancing myself too much from the proved-to-work writing formula from my first finished story, I think I need some rethinking and reconsidering of what I've been doing lately (that certainly can apply to my personal life as well, which, btw, is totally sucking, and that influences too much my writing mood. Hence, sorry).

WTF?

The story seems to be taking it's course, but I still catch myself looking at the blank document with the cursor blinking on it without knowing exactly what to write. Sometimes it seems like the cursor's just mocking me, as if saying that I don’t know what to do anymore and that I should give up. But I insist. Even when I can’t write a thing in one document, I open another one and write something else. So, in the end, the cursor doesn’t win, and I, even without writing where I originally wanted to, still consider myself victorious in my success to write something worth it. But still, it looks like a deuce. I didn’t write where I wanted to, so the cursor wins, but I managed to write, so I win. This sounds more childish at every word I write.
Now, changing subjects to something more interesting (and also more serious), I've made a little progress in Twisted Jealousy Game, though I'm still getting along with some ideas I've had about the next chapter (the one I'm writing, not the one I've failed to post this weekend - sorry for that by the way). I swear, when I first thought about writing this story I hadn't think it'd be so hard. Forgotten Paradise was a piece of cake, and in some ways got me a little spoiled.

Daniele=open mouth, insert foot...

Sometimes I wonder why do I still bother. Sometimes I wonder why do people still bother. It’s more than a known fact that I don’t have a filter between my head and my mouth most times, and that’s mostly with touchy subjects for my friends. I know I should stay quiet and not open my mouth at all, but when I realized whatever it was that I shouldn’t have said just came out of my mouth and my friend’s looking at me with a stunned face. Now seriously, she knows I say whatever comes to my mind and she shouldn’t be so sensitive about it anymore; though I should have already learned to be more sensitive and not just go on saying somewhat hurtful things at people’s face like that. But then, after almost three months living together, and almost three years of knowing, we should be already used to each other’s ways... certainly we are not.

And that brings me to another subject. It’s been already three months that I’m living in Australia with said friend, and now, more than any other time, I really wish I had stayed in Brazil. Why? Just because. Some small things happened, and together they make such a big thing that it makes me wonder what am I doing here anyway. I know I came for the Cambridge exam, but now it’s just some detail and not the main reason any longer. I don’t even know why I’m taking this exam anymore. At the beginning I thought it would be a good thing, but now it’s more about the experience I get here.
Anyway, I really hope things will get better... or at least I’ll get better...